Open letter to Conservative Teabaggers

Source: dailykos.com

Thanks to Stevo for the link – and I’m even going to quote him directly because his comment is so spot-on: “This pretty much sums up what I would have written if I had the time to scream at a brick wall for a few hours”.

Self-important American assholes. Is there room in the world for any more? Our sources say yes. This tea party thing is so far beyond retarded, it hurts my head. Typical, self-serving fucknuggets.

We’ve had a president who decided that he could revoke the citizenship of Americans based on his own say-so — and no conservatives were worried about their loss of rights. We’ve had a government assert that it could spy on any communications, without warrant or cause — and no conservatives took to the streets, alarmed at the threat to their Constitutional protections. We found out we went to war over a weapons program that didn’t exist — oops. We found out that we subjected innocent, though brown, people to imprisonment without recourse, and others to torture so cruel that it rendered them mentally incompetent. We buried the nation in a mountain of debt — well, them’s the breaks. We forked over billions of dollars in giveaways to oil companies that were already making larger profits than any other companies in the history of the world — hell, gotta keep John Galt in caviar. None of it raised a peep from any of you, you were all fine with it. The government could do no wrong — except not going far enough.

But if returning to the tax policies that existed before Bush is the thing that’s got a bee in your bonnet, claiming the end of the republic is at hand — go for it. If you’ve suddenly decided that preventing government efforts to stave off a second Great Depression is the thing you’re going to hang your collective hats on, or that saving one of the prime manufacturing sectors still left in the country is a bridge too far, by all means protest. Who’s stopping you? Who’s intimidating you?

Read the rest here.

Child labour… incredible photos

Source: zoriah.net

Some breathtaking photos in here, by G.M.B. Akash.

This is their way of life… it seems shocking to us, but if they didn’t have jobs, they’d be even hungrier. And possibly deader. They have no alternative.

It’s very easy to be sensationalistic and impart all our Western outrage that somewhere in the third world there are children working 10 hour days for less than a dollar… but in the end, they’re just staying alive.

Incredible. Check it out.

Pandas are pretty much the cutest animal.

Source: findingchianna.blogspot.com

Check out all the baby pandas! Too cute. Best to ignore the rest of the blog – it’s some bland pink monstrosity tracking the life of some couple’s adopted daughter – but they certainly got their priorities right in this post. Pandas – especially baby ones – are awesome. I also like giraffes.

Thanks to the lovely Wendy for the link.

Overlord cat – YOU WILL OBEY.

As a favour to a mutual friend, we’re looking after Sooty – a female long-haired black cat – at the moment. She’s very cute, greets you with a nice ‘mew?’ when you walk into the room, and has this hilarious habit of jumping up to seemingly impossible-to-reach places and sitting there surveying the horizon. I guess a lot of cats do this, but ours doesn’t yet. Incredibly, she never knocks anything over, either. Very graceful – unlike our kitty, who seems to be able to knock everything off a desk just by looking at it in a certain way.

The camera flash had the unintentionally awesome side effect of making her eyes look like lasers, so I’ve dubbed this one “Overlord Cat”.

I, for one, welcome our new laser-powered feline overlords.

Online LSD simulator

Source: boohbah.com

Well… near enough. Made in Flash, this Boohbah Zone thing is really trippy. It seems to have endless things to click on, too. It’s surreal as hell. Have fun!

Looks like my blog has started a bit of a crazy… both Anders and Andy have also jumped on the bandwagon – let us have many years of fun together, my blogging brethren! Let us post interesting crap and pointless shit until the world stops spinning on its axis and flies off into space like a toddler having a tantrum. BROTHERS… UNITE!

Hm, that came out rather more grandiloquent than I’d intended. But still, check out their blogs, they’re posting some pretty good stuff.

Gee, April Fools Day sure is irritating on the internet.

So, along with stupid cat captions and getting people to watch a Rick Astley video unwittingly, the collective comedic genius of the internet has decided that April 1st is the day when you get a bit retarded.

Reddit re-CSS’d their front page so it looked like Digg. The Guardian announced that they would be replacing their printed version and syndicating all articles through Twitter from now on, and YouTube hilariously displayed some of their videos… UPSIDE DOWN! I mean, can you imagine? I know, right? HILARIOUS! HA! AHA! AHA! HA! HA!

While the entire internet may be LOLing their podgy, acne-ridden little faces off, it’s just getting a little tiresome here. Once again, it’s the internet’s greatest hobby: taking something reasonably funny and squeezing every little drop of humour out of it through constant repetition. I remember 3 or so years ago, a few sites engaged in a bit of April Fool’s tomfoolery, but it’s now got to the point where people are building site directories listing all the ‘jokes’ sites are coming up with for April 1st.

Or maybe I’m just being a miserable sad sack. To be fair, I like jokes as much as anybody else. I just always thought jokes were meant to be funny.

Take a look at April Fool’s Day On The Web for a big list of how all your favourite sites displayed their supreme lack of sense of humour today.

Days with my Father

Source: dayswithmyfather.com

Thanks to Anders for the link.

This beautifully presented photoblog is a journal of the last years of the blogger’s father, who sadly suffers from a total loss of short term memory. The mother passed away recently (and unexpectedly), and now he’s permanently confused as to where she is, or what he’s meant to do. Each photo’s caption unravels more of the story, and it’s really an amazing read. Almost tear-jerking, to be honest.

The whole site is done really well, too. Subtle, minimalistic, and functional. It’s Flash, but not as we know it.

Ventriloquist, monkey & tits.

Delicious Turkish irony, watered-down protesters

Source: planetsave.com

Today the Turkish have delighted me. (Sorry, that was awful.)

What’s the best way to deal with protesters at the World Water Forum – a triennial (once every three years) forum designed to focus on methods of eliminating water poverty all around the world? Tear gas? Riot police? Wooden clubs?

Or an unashamedly ironic high-powered water cannon?

Yep. That’s right.

Backfire of the week: child porn sting becomes bestiality charge; dog ‘loses interest’

Source: thesmokinggun.com

The internet is a wonderful place to find heartwarming stories of joy and virtue. But occasionally something gets a little lost in translation.

Which brings us to 24-year-old Michelle Owen from Indiana. Concerned that her boyfriend was engaging in downloading child pornography, she took her laptop to the local police station so that they could sift through the system for any illegal images.

This all backfired, however, when police found 2 video files conveniently located in her Recycle Bin, which just happened to be 2 homemade videos of her with peanut butter smothered all over her cooch and encouraging Toby, her dog, to come have a snack.

Whoops. Full details at The Smoking Gun.

My favourite paragraph from the police transcript:

The second video file again showed Michelle Owen fully unclothed and messing with the camera. She walked away from the camera with a cigarette in her hand and got on the bed with her vagina exposed to the camera. She then said, “Toby come here”, and began rubbing her vagina. The dog then jumped onto the bed and began to lick her vagina as Owen closed her eyes and leaned her head back. The dog then appeared to lose interest and walked out of view of the camera as Owen continued to rub her vagina and smoke her cigarette.

Oh, they didn’t find any child porn on the laptop, by the way. Just a bit of canine cunnilingus. She was charged under Indiana bestiality laws.

Completely unrelated sidenote: I hope these people die a painful, humiliating death. Lazy fat fucks.